Here I'm presenting information as I've learned it from my Kahuna, Lani. I'm sure there are people who will disagree with some of it and want me to refrain from talking about a culture of which I am not a part. Regardless of the accuracy of those statements, I must emphasize that the dynamic is what is important and should be respected for what it is. Thank you for your tolerance as I attempt to be of service.
One of the main teachings of Max Freedom Long and of the Hawaiian teachers before him was that harmony was paramount to all relationships. The Hawaiians called it lokahi. I've heard it said that it was so important to them that if a family member refused to make amends for something important they stood to be kicked out of their family. If that happened, they were considered to be dead.
The Hawaiian people knew that having a clear conscience was necessary to having a thriving relationship with others including God. Someone who refused to make amends chanced offending the gods and was forgetting his place in the world. They were putting themselves first and that inconsiderate attitude had no place in Hawaiian society because it didn't support the harmony so important to keeping the flow of aloha going strong. Many people don't realize it, but you need permission show your love to others. Try loving a stranger on the street and watch what happens. Actually, I recommend you don't. This is easier to comprehend if you understand archaic Hawaiian.
Pre-missionary Hawaiian had no concept of ownership and no equivalent for the word "I". They could not say "I own this land". They could not say "this is my wife". As a consequence, people put the family first. There was no self identification in the language and therefore no corresponding mental problems or needs for boundaries the way we conceive of them in modern society. "Au" is used in Hawaiian anywhere the English word "I" is used but, it isn't anything like the word "I" at all. It means a "flow or current" (in the mind of God). This is a problem that arose from the missionaries trying to correlate English to Hawaiian. So, as Hawaiian children went to school they learned the concept of "I" which their parents could not comprehend and if they had awareness that it was happening, could not prevent it.
Unquestionably, the concept of ownership is false to fact. In reality we use something until we die and then it belongs to someone else. Relationships and memories are the only things under our control that we take from this life. To point out how differently the psyche of the pre-missionary Hawaiians worked, I will relate one more thing to the reader. In the mid 1800s when young Hawaiian men accepted jobs on sailing vessels they often died of homesickness within just a few weeks. Homesickness was deadly to them. It is not deadly to us because we aren't bound to family and the land in the capacity that they were. This seeming strength of ours comes from an unrealistic view of the world compliments of our language as language is what allows us to think. It is one where the family can come second to the self and where relationships are often secondary to an opinion, belief or other imaginary gain. The point here is not to put too much importance on what you own but instead on your honor and your love of life.
The bottom line about the benefit of making amends is that a tremendous hidden stress is removed from the psyche. The people I met at my initiatory class that completed their list of amends looked remarkably younger afterward, a fact everyone in attendance would corroborate. Reports of minor miracles start happening. People you've wanted to see for years will show up for the same train. Etc. Prayers became much more effective. I can't emphasize this enough. I hope you will find out for yourself.
If enough time has passed after a destructive interaction with someone, I recommend you call and try to make amends. The longer it stays in the subconscious the more it festers and becomes worse in your mind. It is a brave thing to do in a society that doesn't expect it. People may ask you if you are in Alcoholics Anonymous. So what. A person who hurt you may be waiting for your call. If you are a good person and managed to hurt someone else you know in your heart that you want to be forgiven. It is worth the risk and is the noble thing to do. You will breathe better afterward. You may even live longer. Namaste and Aloha, Kahuna Lamaku.
One of the main teachings of Max Freedom Long and of the Hawaiian teachers before him was that harmony was paramount to all relationships. The Hawaiians called it lokahi. I've heard it said that it was so important to them that if a family member refused to make amends for something important they stood to be kicked out of their family. If that happened, they were considered to be dead.
The Hawaiian people knew that having a clear conscience was necessary to having a thriving relationship with others including God. Someone who refused to make amends chanced offending the gods and was forgetting his place in the world. They were putting themselves first and that inconsiderate attitude had no place in Hawaiian society because it didn't support the harmony so important to keeping the flow of aloha going strong. Many people don't realize it, but you need permission show your love to others. Try loving a stranger on the street and watch what happens. Actually, I recommend you don't. This is easier to comprehend if you understand archaic Hawaiian.
Pre-missionary Hawaiian had no concept of ownership and no equivalent for the word "I". They could not say "I own this land". They could not say "this is my wife". As a consequence, people put the family first. There was no self identification in the language and therefore no corresponding mental problems or needs for boundaries the way we conceive of them in modern society. "Au" is used in Hawaiian anywhere the English word "I" is used but, it isn't anything like the word "I" at all. It means a "flow or current" (in the mind of God). This is a problem that arose from the missionaries trying to correlate English to Hawaiian. So, as Hawaiian children went to school they learned the concept of "I" which their parents could not comprehend and if they had awareness that it was happening, could not prevent it.
Unquestionably, the concept of ownership is false to fact. In reality we use something until we die and then it belongs to someone else. Relationships and memories are the only things under our control that we take from this life. To point out how differently the psyche of the pre-missionary Hawaiians worked, I will relate one more thing to the reader. In the mid 1800s when young Hawaiian men accepted jobs on sailing vessels they often died of homesickness within just a few weeks. Homesickness was deadly to them. It is not deadly to us because we aren't bound to family and the land in the capacity that they were. This seeming strength of ours comes from an unrealistic view of the world compliments of our language as language is what allows us to think. It is one where the family can come second to the self and where relationships are often secondary to an opinion, belief or other imaginary gain. The point here is not to put too much importance on what you own but instead on your honor and your love of life.
The bottom line about the benefit of making amends is that a tremendous hidden stress is removed from the psyche. The people I met at my initiatory class that completed their list of amends looked remarkably younger afterward, a fact everyone in attendance would corroborate. Reports of minor miracles start happening. People you've wanted to see for years will show up for the same train. Etc. Prayers became much more effective. I can't emphasize this enough. I hope you will find out for yourself.
If enough time has passed after a destructive interaction with someone, I recommend you call and try to make amends. The longer it stays in the subconscious the more it festers and becomes worse in your mind. It is a brave thing to do in a society that doesn't expect it. People may ask you if you are in Alcoholics Anonymous. So what. A person who hurt you may be waiting for your call. If you are a good person and managed to hurt someone else you know in your heart that you want to be forgiven. It is worth the risk and is the noble thing to do. You will breathe better afterward. You may even live longer. Namaste and Aloha, Kahuna Lamaku.
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